Morning Prayer was called. I leave to join the congregation. We pray as one; stand as one. I finished what minimal worship I convinced myself was enough, I get in my car and leave. Soon, I near the turn before our home, I issue the turn signal, proudly flaunting my intention to turn left. Alas, my desire was met with a car coming in the opposite direction. I wait.
A peculiar light glints among the dusk's dark beginnings. An LED light. It is a biker. I am still motionless in the road, only my intentions to turn left recognizable from the outside. As he comes towards me, I realize... maybe my wait is over. I squeeze past. I thought he would slow down... I thought HE, the one with the fifteen kilogram machine, would wait for ME in the fifteen hundred kilogram machine. That is my conditioning. That is my learned behavior. That is what my culture has silently polished me to assume... As I pass the man, he gestures upward and away with his arm in protest. He was western, not Omani. I heard him, through his motion, silently shout: "Another one. Another one (Omani) that disrespects bikers."
I apologized. I apologized, audibly in the car, seemingly to myself. Have I wronged myself to apologize to it? Have I wronged him by squeezing before he passed? Has he wronged my by failing to assimilate (so as to expect that from Omanis)? I wish he was before me this instant. I'd apologize.
This incident is regrettable. It is a defeat, a failure in my eyes. Yet a failure that I am jovial to count along all the others. It was a spark that lit the fire of thought within me. A fire so grand in scale, I forwent sleep to write it down moments after it happened. I will not allow myself to risk forgetting this memory, a brand seared into my memory of my road of eternal betterment. Waiting until the next morning (afternoon, if I'm honest...) was just too long to preserve this memory intact.
Can I have a second chance at this? Can I please do it again... Can I please redo this incident and join the other 'Another one' list: 'Another one that respects bikers'. No. No, I cannot. I can only reconsider this when I encounter the fork on the road again. Another day, another biker, another turn, another car... a better me.